


Attention of the Admiral

by Dragomir



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Could Be Canon, Crack, Gen, Mission Reports, Stormwind Royal Navy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-13 02:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1209691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragomir/pseuds/Dragomir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duty is a cornerstone of the Stormwind Royal Navy. Sending a captain to examine a bank of fog for three years, though, will sorely stress that duty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attention of the Admiral

**Author's Note:**

> A while ago, I promised someone a crack fic based on the mists that used to surround Pandaria. This is the result.
> 
> Un-beta'ed.

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 627 by King's Calendar, May_

Pursuant to your orders, Grand Admiral, my ship pursued the pirates. I felt that your orders had instructed us to capture or kill the men aboard the ship, regardless of which waters we strayed into. Should any actions arise against my crew, I will take full responsibility.

We ran into an unusual phenomena while pursuing our quarry, something that no captain I have spoken with since the incident described herein took place has seen.

There is a bank of fog south-south-west of the southern tip of the Cape of Stranglethorn. It is nigh impenetrable and gives anyone who approaches it a distinct feeling of unease or – in the case of my former first mate – a sense of overwhelming superiority. Attempts to penetrate the fogbank while pursuing the pirates resulted in our ship emerging unharmed and turned towards the Cape of Stranglethorn.

Request further instructions.

With due regards,

Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 628 by King's Calendar_

Pursuant to further orders, the _Triumph_ returned to the fogbank with priests on loan from the Cathedral of Light in Stormwind City. The crew was unhappy with the orders to return to the site where we lost the pirates originally. Only the presence of the priests in question kept mutterings of a potential mutiny away.

The priests were unable to cleanse whatever form of corruption is attached to the mists that rolled over the ship. Three men were lost during the failed attempt to cleanse the mist or dispel it. I have already written condolences to their families and directed them to the appropriate officers.

The priests have refused to set foot on the _Triumph_ again until someone has dealt with the mist.

Regards,

Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 629 by King's Calendar, Midsummer_

No headway has been made on the fog, bandits and pirates who keep disappearing into it, or the persistent rumors that men who have vanished into the fog turning up at monasteries on Draenor, having forsworn the sea for the rest of their days.

Please do not send us anymore paladins. They were less help than the priests were last year.

Regards, Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 629 by King's Calendar, Winterveil_

Pursuant to orders from the grand admiral, the _Triumph_ spent the entirety of the Feast of Winterveil anchored a mile off the furthest edge of the fog bank. Morale has hit an all time low and the majority of the crew has handed in their resignations, to be tendered the second we return to Stormwind. The presence of a conjure of mages aboard did nothing to soothe anyone's mind.

Mages are even more useless than paladins and priests. Having the ship glow like a Winterveil tree – or the inside of Gnomergan and the troggs that currently live there – did not impress anyone on the ship.

Please stop sending us to investigate the fog. There is nothing here, except for a less than amusing prank most likely left behind by one of the Titans.

Regards,

Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 630 by King's Calendar_

I am beginning to find it highly suspicious that my ship keeps getting sent to investigate a fogbank that eats pirates, ships that attempt to enter it, killed three of my men, sent an entire conclave of priests running for the Dark Portal, reduced an entire blessing of paladins to sobbing schoolchildren, and vanished most of a conjure of mages in one evening. I am not accusing the Grand Admiral or her staff of anything in regards to the duty roster, but the new crew I am attempting to break in has heard rumors.

Attached to this letter is a rough map of the closest landward edge of the fogbank. It is larger than a breadbox.

Please stop sending us observers. They rarely survive the trip.

Regards,

Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Ander Germaine, Head of the Warrior's Guild_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 630 by King's Calendar_

Kindly shoot whoever sent us the mad warrior Leroy Jenkins and his friends.

Regards,

Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 630 by King's Calendar, Brewfest_

No sign of any pirates has been reported in the general area of Stranglethorn Vale. All claims of pirates seen in the area are, most likely, the Blackwater Raiders. The Raiders are, in fact, legitimate members of the Steamwheedle Cartel as Baron Revilgaz so cheerfully reminded me when I handed him a copy of my orders when the _Triumph_ was detained in his port.

May I respectfully remind you, Grand Admiral, that the goblins in Booty Bay have a good rapport with the largest number of Stormwind ex-patriots, and many of the Stormwind citizens who now make their home in Stranglethorn Vale and Booty Bay would be more likely to help the Cartel then the Alliance, should things come to blows.

No pirates have been seen heading for the bank of fog, and no ship is willing to pursue the issue. Not even for His Majesty the King's gold.

The crew's morale is at an all-time high for the first time in two years.

Best regards,

Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

_Year: 631 by King's Calendar_

No sign of the flagship _The Vanguard_ has been made since the initial report from Admiral Taylor. Will continue searching the last known area of the flagship, but make no promises on the safe return of the admiral, his crew, or whatever cargo we have been instructed to recover at all costs.

Pursuant to orders of three years ago, the _Triumph_ has again begun scouting the edge of the fogbank. The men are uneasy over the fact that we can't find it. We know where it _should_ be.

It. Is. Not. There.

With respect,

Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy

_From: Captain Anduin Jameson, Stormwind Royal Navy_

_To: His Royal Majesty Varian Wrynn, King of Stormwind and Grand Admiral Jes-Tereth_

_Via: Captain Leroy Reynolds, Stormwind Royal Navy, Courier Fleet_

Year: 629 by King's Calendar

_**I QUIT** _ **.**

With respect,

Anduin Jameson, formerly of the Stormwind Royal Navy

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Have a thought on what finally made Jameson snap? Drop a line and let me know!


End file.
